He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize