Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
