oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
