I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
