Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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