maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
