Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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