Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
