In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
