oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Randomize
