so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
