i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
