For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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