He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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