Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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