I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
