listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
