and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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