In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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