Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
