It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
