think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
