I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
His nipple licking is glorious
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