Screwed.edu
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
