You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize