Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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