PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
