So drunk its hurt
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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