it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
