My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
