Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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