I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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