oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
