yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
