I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize