it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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