One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
