Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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