I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize