I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
