Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
