Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
