Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
