I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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