big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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