he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
