What did we do last night that was yellow?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
