Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
