sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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