she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
