I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
