May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
one might say we're banned from that church
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How external is "for external use only"?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
