if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Damn victory sex feels great
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
