I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
