we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You left your phone here
Wait...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
