ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
