So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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