He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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