shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
