they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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